Friday, June 23, 2006

Friday afternoon, disgustin rant post, please don't read...

Sorry for the second post of today, especially for the faint of heart. This is a non-poker post so be forewarned. Women shield your eyes please. This is just plain disgusting and highly inappropriate.

Now I am a typical guy. I take great joy in bathroom humor. Just ask jjok, I am always the first one to comment about some of his stories while ROFL. For those of you that I have met in person, I don’t think I would be described as a Johnny Cakes chaser or anything.

With that said, I just got out of the crapper totally disgusted by my fellow man. I have a meeting soon so had to take care of business. I know that is not noteworthy, but as I sat there playing Brickbreaker on my blackberry, the most vile dude I have ever came across sat in the 1 Seat. I am in the 3 Seat. This dude comes in and proceeds to grunt and growl like Ron Jeremy in some of his greatest roles. Now mind you, I understand the need for a little extra push now and then if not keeping the proper diet but even this was a little much.

But that wasn’t even the worst part. This dude must have coughed up at least 10, deep from the lung hockers and proceeded to spit them on the floor. The floors are marble and after each hack and wind-up, he would let go with a resounding thwack as semi-solid liquid smacked against unsuspecting smooth marble. WTF is up with that? I didn’t think I worked in the woods. Just vile is all I can say.

Ok, and while I am on the subject of the men’s room, I might as well continue with one additional observation that has me scratching my head.

I probably spent about 15 minutes on the throne (business, Brickbreaker, pins and needles in the legs after they fell asleep, etc.). I probably heard about 3 or 4 people come and go, and without trying to pay attention, there is clearly 2 distinct ways of wiping. The swipe and the rub. I am a swiper, whether it takes me 18 swipes, I swipe, drop, unroll, swipe drop, unroll, …

I don’t get the rub. Sounds like some may feel that if they rub back and forth, they get cleaner. I don’t know, but not for me. Where we do learn the right way to do that?

Sorry for this ridiculous post, but I just had to get it off my chest. I am not sure why I was compelled to share any of this, but alas, I was.


At 1:38 PM, Blogger jjok said...

tight aggressive for sure....

Probably has a VP$IP of under 15 and always openraises.

I'd stay away.

At 2:15 PM, Blogger TripJax said...

Once on a business trip, where I was travelling by car, I was listening to a radio station where they were discussing styles of wiping. One of the radio dudes was ridiculed beyond belief when he acknowledged that he wiped from between the legs in a back to front motion (does that makes sense).

Anyway, this dude had no idea people wiped any other way, and said that is how his mom had taught him when he was a kid and he just figured everyone did it that way. Um, no sir.

Strange how crazy shit like this comes up on the radio and in blogs...gotta love it...

At 2:28 PM, Blogger Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

Hey Chris.

No comment on the bathroom ettiquette story, other than to say I feel your pain and am quite often reminded of how odd some people's bathroom habits can be.

But back to the hand with DoubleAs the other night, can you say specifically why you decided to push in the rest of your chips on the turn? That just seemed like a wee bit of an overbet for a guy with just TPSK. I mean, if the other guy moved allin and you called with TPSK, that's one thing (and not a good thing, btw, but different from the situation you had). But why, especially when you admit to having been concerned by DoubleAs's smooth call on the flop, did you respond by pushing in the rest of your chips?

And btw you are so right about that smooth call from DoubleAs. The better a player is, the more you should be concerned that they are smooth calling multiple bets from you in a hand. By that second smooth call from DoubleAs, I would have had warning bells going off left and right in my head.

Now go read my blog for the uberdonk story of the night, what else is new.

Best of luck at the tables this weekend man. I should be playing a lot both nights, maybe I'll try to fire up the girly chat which I haven't done for a while.

At 2:34 PM, Blogger Klopzi said...

I, too, enjoy the occasional bit of bathroom humour.

Two things:

1. I thought I was the only one who got pins and needles. I blame Super System 2 and other poker books for turning bathroom forays into extended study periods. My wife always tells me that it serves me right when I come out with one of my legs fast asleep.

2. WTF?! The "Rub"? You're just gonna end up grinding it in and smooshing it all over the place. These are the people who smell like "ass" on public transit...

Funny post - feel free to post any bathroom humour anytime you like.

And have a good weekend, blackjack master!

At 2:40 PM, Blogger mookie99 said...

"sat in the 1 Seat. I am in the 3 Seat"

You may have a poker problem if view the bathroom stalls as a poker table.

At 3:04 PM, Blogger drewspop said...

Who knew this would be one of my more popular post. Hmm, that tells me something about my brog but anyway...

Hoy, I was concerned in that I knew he had an ace but didn't want to believe he had the K. If he did, I hoped he would believe that I had something better so he would lay down his TPTK that early to a big bet. I went about it wrong, especially after reading his comment, I understand why. Either way, I will learn from it.

I read about your play last night. You are entitled to a brain fart every now and then.

Hopefully I will get some time to poker it up this weekend.

Klopzi, glad we think the same way.

Mookie, that is a given. I DO have a problem. No complaints.

At 9:14 PM, Blogger Iakaris aka I.A.K. said...

That guy was probably a world famous secre agent being strangled by a leprechaun assasin on orders from a diabolical criminal mastermind.

Why does that sound so familiar?

How could you not call the dude out on the loogeys though. That shit was anti-social, literally and figuratively.

At 12:20 PM, Blogger CarmenSinCity said...

The women's room is even worse. I swear!

At 12:57 PM, Blogger iamhoff said...

Mookie, amen.

Carmen, scary thought.

Klopzi, I'm with you. The rub?!? Ewwwwww.

Chris, this is a classic post, and proof that poker bloggers don't just post hand histories and bad beat stories. Who'da thought bad wiping stories, tho. Pins and needles from the Blackberry games. Occasionally guilty. And I didn't see the hand you played, but I understand what you were doing. Either you were trying to push him off of another ace (not the king) by representing a higher ace or trying to push him off of AK with 2 pair. So it didn't work. Das poker. See ya out there, amigo.

At 11:48 AM, Blogger RoccoBoxer said...

Don't drop tour Blackberry in the bowl...

A friend of mine actually posted signs in the mens room to get people to "hit" the urinal.

I can't believe how some people just cruise out of the bathroom and don't wash... I go so far as using the hand towel to open the door!

Imagine touching a door handle after an oyster spitting, back-to-front, "rubber"? GROSS!

At 8:07 PM, Blogger Thirsty said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog.
I hope you continue to visit, if my poker writing isn't enough to make you return perhaps the news that there is a Melinda update will!!


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